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Post by ScottBon on Jul 1, 2011 20:37:43 GMT 1
I went to the bank today to ask for a loan.
"What do you need the money for sir?"
"It's for a car".
"Oh nice, what are you getting?"
"Just some unleaded".
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Post by ScottBon on Aug 16, 2011 16:01:20 GMT 1
My wife phoned me at work and said, "I'm not wearing any knickers" I said, "I'll tell the boss I'm feeling sick" She said, "So you can come home early and fuck me?" I said, "No, because I'm feeling sick"
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Post by ScottBon on Aug 16, 2011 16:02:11 GMT 1
I saw the most beautiful stripper in a swanky lap dancing bar. I paid for a dance and whispered in her ear, "Fancy coming back to my place after?" She replied, "That depends, are you rich?" I said, "No, I'm Scott."
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Post by ScottBon on Aug 16, 2011 16:02:39 GMT 1
I went and got my palm read today, the Woman told me, 'You will be rated highly on something you love..'
Now, i'm not someone who jumps to conclusions, but my Reputation on Football Manager has just reached Continental.
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Post by ScottBon on Aug 16, 2011 16:03:33 GMT 1
I was in ASDA earlier walking down the fruit & vegetable aisle when I saw a midget pick up a packet of mushrooms.
I couldn't help but shout, "GROW MARIO, GROW!"
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Post by ScottBon on Aug 23, 2011 16:05:38 GMT 1
Clegg: Gaddafi defeat only a matter of time.
Compo, who was busy racing a tin bath down a hillside was unavailable for comment.
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