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Post by snoozyboozy on Sept 6, 2007 11:11:50 GMT 1
why do elephants paint the undersides of their feet yello?
so they can hide upside down in a bowl of custard! ;d
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Post by STATTO on Sept 21, 2007 19:04:59 GMT 1
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Post by snoozyboozy on Sept 22, 2007 8:10:55 GMT 1
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Post by highvoltage on Sept 22, 2007 10:57:47 GMT 1
OMG!!!!!!
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Post by dirtysteve on Oct 2, 2007 9:55:15 GMT 1
A man & wife are on holiday in Jamacia. They enter a shop and are looking at a pair of sandals. The Jamacian shop owner approaches the husband and says " you wanna buy de sandals maan? Dey make you into a lurve machine maan!" The man gets defensive and says "no thanks, I dont need them". His wife on the other hand fancies him getting his spark back and persuades him to try them on. As soon as the husband puts the sandals on he gets a glint in his eye, wood in his shorts, grabs the shop owner, bends him over counter and puts it up the wrong un'. The shop keeper then screams " you got dem on da wrong feet maan, you got dem on the wrong feet!"
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Post by Marf on Oct 4, 2007 18:31:30 GMT 1
This is based on an actual radio conversation between a U.S. Navy aircraft carrier (U.S.S. Abraham Lincoln) and Canadian authorities off the coast of Newfoundland in October, 1995. (The radio conversation was released by the Chief of Naval Operations on 10/10/95 authorized by the Freedom of Information Act.) Canadians: Please divert your course 15 degrees to the South to avoid collision. Americans: Recommend you divert your course 15 degrees to the North to avoid a collision. Canadians: Negative. You will have to divert your course 15 degrees to the South to avoid a collision. Americans: This is the Captain of a US Navy ship. I say again, divert YOUR course. Canadians: No, I say again, you divert YOUR course. Americans: THIS IS THE AIRCRAFT CARRIER USS LINCOLN, THE SECOND LARGEST SHIP IN THE UNITED STATES' ATLANTIC FLEET. WE ARE ACCOMPANIED BY THREE DESTROYERS, THREE CRUISERS AND NUMEROUS SUPPORT VESSELS. I DEMAND THAT YOU CHANGE YOUR COURSE 15 DEGREES NORTH--I SAY AGAIN, THAT'S ONE FIVE DEGREES NORTH--OR COUNTER-MEASURES WILL BE UNDERTAKEN TO ENSURE THE SAFETY OF THIS SHIP. Canadians: This is a lighthouse. Your call.
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Post by Marf on Oct 4, 2007 23:22:49 GMT 1
Son asks: Dad, why does making love feel so good? Dad said: Its just like picking your nose. Of course it feels good. Son asks: Then why don't men feel as good as girls? Dad said: Because when you pick your nose, its your nose that feel good, not your finger. Son asks: Then why do women feel bad when they are being raped? Dad said: If one day, when you're walking in the street, someone suddenly came over and picked your nose, will you feel good? Son asks: Why do the girls not want to make love when they have their period? Dad said: If your nose is bleeding, will you still pick it? Finally, son asks: Then why don't guys want to use condoms? Dad replies: Will you wear a glove to pick your nose?
Interesting!
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Post by soulstripper on Jan 7, 2008 11:33:06 GMT 1
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Post by soulstripper on Jan 7, 2008 11:34:22 GMT 1
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Post by snoozyboozy on Jan 7, 2008 12:36:09 GMT 1
groan!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Post by angus5041 on Jan 7, 2008 14:26:16 GMT 1
This six foot four big black beetle knocked on my door last nite and told me i could f#@k off and gave me the height of abuse........i have been told there is a nasty bug going round..
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Post by soulstripper on Jan 10, 2008 11:41:01 GMT 1
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Post by RichieRich on Jan 16, 2008 11:38:39 GMT 1
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Post by RichieRich on Jan 16, 2008 21:14:25 GMT 1
A man is driving up a steep, narrow mountain road. A woman is driving down the same road. As they pass each other, the woman leans out of the window and yells "PIG!!". The man immediately leans out of his window and replies, "BITCH!!" They each continue on their way, and as the man rounds the next corner, he crashes into a pig in the middle of the road.
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Post by snoozyboozy on Jan 17, 2008 19:46:10 GMT 1
It was mealtime during a flight on a British Airways plane: "Would you like dinner?" the flight attendant asked the man seated in the front row. "What are my choices?" the man asked. "Yes or no," she replied.
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